she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
