Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
