Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm always down for nudity.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
