They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it hurts more in the daytime
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize