dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
