If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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