I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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