TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
