Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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