It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
