Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize