so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
