I feel great
I just peed on a car
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
