Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
