Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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