hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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