why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
