Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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