i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
