Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
