did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
