loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
