She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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