Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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