I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
