loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
