What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
