At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
