The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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