But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize