is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
