She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
