Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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