i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
