508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
