White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
