alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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