I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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