I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
