and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
