You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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