so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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