I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
worst night to have a conscience
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
