So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
