just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
