i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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