oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
