TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
