Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
