she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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