I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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