The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
