question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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