And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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