I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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