So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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