Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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