Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
