this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize