I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
